A Memorial to My Husband

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Coping With Grief – Where is My Support?

When you are grieving the loss of a loved one that is when you need family and friends around you for support the most.

I am a member of two widows groups myself and I hear many stories of family and friends being unsympathetic or disappearing all together leaving the bereaved to cope with their loss all alone.

Some people are fortunate enough to have constant support through this journey of grief they are on and sadly some have no one to comfort them or give them any support.

Death, no matter how you look at it is a tragic loss of a spouse, a child, mother, father, sister, brother, grandmother, grandfather or friends and will affect many people in different ways.

The loss of contact from family and friends at a time like this is a double loss to the grieving person. Already they feel like their world has been turned upside down and part of their own life has died with their loved one. They no longer feel they have a place in this world or how to live or exist and often times they don’t even want to live without their loved one. To have family and friends disappear makes the experience even more devastating.

Maybe you are guilty of this yourself. Maybe you realize it and don’t know what to do about it or maybe you don’t even realize that you are doing this to someone.

* You don't want to face the thought and/or realization of your own mortality.
* You are also dealing with the loss from a different standpoint.
* You don't know what to say or how to act around them.
* You think the grieving person wants to be alone.
* You are afraid you will make them cry or feel worse.

Don't abandon someone suffering the loss of a loved one. Even a short phone call to say "Hi" can mean the world to them at this time. Offer to bring them something to eat; offer to take them for a ride; or offer to just come and sit with them for a while.

Even though it may be hard to make contact and keep in contact with someone who has lost a close loved one, it will mean so much to them and you will have provided some hope and a future life for the one left behind.